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The Local _ Scania _ Need help regarding Shoplifting

Posted by: Guilty 1.Mar.2015, 12:39 PM

Hi. I am 25 years old student in malmo. I was caught shoplifting 2 days back. It was my friend's birthday. And I was trying to get a earing for her. Which was 149kr. Then I turned and I saw really pretty ring. So I took them and get into the changing room then took the tag off from the earing and put it in my bag. As for the ring which was 350kr. I put it on my finger. And I passed the door and went downstairs. Bought the small gift box then try to exist the store. Then the security stoped me and asked me to follow him. I did, and he told me "you have not paid for somethings. I gave up the ring and earrings and plead guilty. They called the cops. They asked me whether I want attorney. I said no. And I admit everything since I was so afraid and was feeling really guilty. They took my name and address and all. Said they will send me the fine. This is my 1st time I am stealing. Felt soooooo guilty. Can't even sleep for 2 days. I am in shock. I swear I was not in mind and was insanely stupid. I am ready to pay for my crime but only thing I am afraid is whether this incident cause the termination of my student visa. I am an international student and my visa is until June 30th. And also another question is I am going to China in the end of this month and coming back to Europe on 15th of April. I am afraid will I be able to enter Europe fine record attached to my visa number. Even I have visa until June. I really regret what I did. And will regret rest of my life. Please people don't judge me I am already aware I am the worst person in the world and I deserve punishment. But is there an anything I do to fix it? Do you think they will terminate my visa? Do you think I would have trouble entering Europe via Switzerland? If you have any recommended lawyer please help me. I am afraid I might do something stupid like suicide if I don't solve this. I am so messed up person.

Posted by: Emerentia 1.Mar.2015, 01:30 PM

Hey, calm down. You are over-reacting a bit. You are not the worst person in the world, there are a lot of people who have done worse, and you know that.

Yes, it was a bad and stupid thing you did, but now you need to get over it. Remember it forever, and let the felings you are having be a lesson for not doing anything like that again, but not let this guilt destroy you. Don't even thing about suicide, and if you do, you really need to contact a emergency psychiatric unit.

Malm

Posted by: Svensksmith 1.Mar.2015, 01:55 PM

Yes, you did a stupid thing. Feeling guilty about it shows that deep down, you are a good person. I would be more worried about myself if I didn't feel bad. We all make mistakes. The best you can do is learn from them and strive to be better. However, suicide is one mistake that can never be corrected. Do not punish your friends and family and eliminate your life's potential for your one small mistake.

Posted by: Guilty 1.Mar.2015, 02:04 PM

[quote name='Emerentia' post='852594' date='1.Mar.2015, 01:30 PM']Hey, calm down. You are over-reacting a bit. You are not the worst person in the world, there are a lot of people who have done worse, and you know that.

Yes, it was a bad and stupid thing you did, but now you need to get over it. Remember it forever, and let the felings you are having be a lesson for not doing anything like that again, but not let this guilt destroy you. Don't even thing about suicide, and if you do, you really need to contact a emergency psychiatric unit.

Malm

Posted by: Guilty 1.Mar.2015, 02:14 PM

QUOTE (Svensksmith @ 1.Mar.2015, 01:55 PM) *
Yes, you did a stupid thing. Feeling guilty about it shows that deep down, you are a good person. I would be more worried about myself if I didn't feel bad. We all make mistakes. The best you can do is learn from them and strive to be better. However, suicide is one mistake that can never be corrected. Do not punish your friends and family and eliminate your life's potential for your one small mistake.

I really feel so so guilty. It is like I failed everyone. I can't even look at people in street now. Every time I talk to person. Something inside me says you don't deserve even talking. You are criminal. But you guys really gave me at least small release and after reading ur comments and get able to cry makes it little better. I was about to explode by keeping it to myself. Only after crying I feel like I could take breath finally. Thank you so so much

Posted by: Applecore 1.Mar.2015, 03:29 PM

I'm glad you are feeling better, but honestly if it still gives you such anxiety you should try to talk to someone professional. And Emerentia is right, best look up those 15 min consultations, if anything it will help you put things together, rather than choking on what can happen.

In the end...it's not the end wink.gif. Especially if you learned the lesson (and it looks like you did)

Posted by: Svensksmith 1.Mar.2015, 03:49 PM

Life offers up many twists and turns. Some as a result of your own actions, some which are due to fate alone. All you can do is react and adapt. I do not know if your visa will be in jeopardy due to your one, small infraction. Somehow I doubt it. But if so, you will just have to take a new path. It is not the end of the world.

You have been served up a dose of humility and have learned a tough lesson. That is a good thing. You will be a better person for it. Do not keep beating yourself up over it. That serves no purpose. Remember, there has only been one perfect person in the world. The rest of us fall way short of the mark.

Go out, get some fresh air, and clear your head.

Posted by: Guilty 1.Mar.2015, 04:14 PM

QUOTE (Applecore @ 1.Mar.2015, 03:29 PM) *
I'm glad you are feeling better, but honestly if it still gives you such anxiety you should try to talk to someone professional. And Emerentia is right, best look up those 15 min consultations, if anything it will help you put things together, rather than choking on what can happen.

In the end...it's not the end wink.gif. Especially if you learned the lesson (and it looks like you did)


Yes i am feeling much better now. I just hope i wont get more depressed in evening. Since i live alone and dont have any relative here is sweden, i tend to get depressed when it gets dark. And this whole shoplifting thing just pushed me to the edge. :-( I just tried to contact the lawyer which Emerentia suggested. Send them all an e-mail since i dont want to trouble calling people on sunday. I really learned the lesson. Thank you so so much for support.

Posted by: Guilty 1.Mar.2015, 04:18 PM

QUOTE (Svensksmith @ 1.Mar.2015, 03:49 PM) *
Life offers up many twists and turns. Some as a result of your own actions, some which are due to fate alone. All you can do is react and adapt. I do not know if your visa will be in jeopardy due to your one, small infraction. Somehow I doubt it. But if so, you will just have to take a new path. It is not the end of the world.

You have been served up a dose of humility and have learned a tough lesson. That is a good thing. You will be a better person for it. Do not keep beating yourself up over it. That serves no purpose. Remember, there has only been one perfect person in the world. The rest of us fall way short of the mark.

Go out, get some fresh air, and clear your head.


Thing most worries me is how much i will hurt and make my family and friends disappointed with me. No one would want to be freind or parent to a criminal. I just cant face anyone if it makes bigger issue. :-( Yes you are right. I am going to church now. At least i can sit there and relax and admit my faulth to god. It may make me feel better. And thank you so so much!

Posted by: Applecore 1.Mar.2015, 04:40 PM

You would be surprised at how much parents and true friends can forgive. They may be disappointed for a while, but they will never stop loving you. They are your parents. I think each of us has done at least one thing in their life, which does not make them proud, your parents included. Im sure that as long as they can see that YOU understand it was wrong, they will eventually get past it.

And cripes it's not like you murdered anyone, for a one time stupid act...i'd hardly call you a criminal. Maybe a temporary idiot wink.gif. It's a fine, which you will pay, you admitted guilt, you didn't try to run, or weasel yourself out...debt is paid. No sense pouring ash on your head for weeks on end.

Posted by: Emerentia 1.Mar.2015, 05:00 PM

Glad you are feeling a bit better. A good cry could really be a bit of a relief. And try to get something to eat too, even if it's hard at first, but you need it to think clearly. A starving mind can start playing tricks with you and make things feel worse than they are. You deserve eating, and looking at people and talking. And you also deserve feeling bad about what you did, I'm not sugercoating it, you deserve that too, but not to the extent that you should destroy your life over it.

I don't want to disrespect you father, but he was wrong. Life is to precious. Or maybe wasn't wrong, but he meant something more serious by living bad, than doing one stupid thing. You're sort if taking this out of proportion. You are not living bad, you did a stupid thing, it's about what you do with this from now on and what you learn from it. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to lose your life over this. I hope he would be angry, sad and disappointed of you, but after that he would say that you are his precious child and he loves you and trust you to never do this again. Parents and friends disappointment in you isn't the end of the world. It doesn't feel good, for you or for them, but you get through it. It's a life lesson. Those costs and hurts, but you do get through them even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

You did bad, but you own it. It would have been a lot worse if you hadn't been caught and given those stolen objects to your friend and felt pleased about it.

Sometimes when you tell people about something you are ashamed of, you will be surprised, that the hardest judge is usually oneself. I think it would be good for you to talk with some friend at least. Or some professional at first, that might be easier. They have confidentiality, and there is a lot of people who talk to them, there is no shame in that. Just to get some of this off your chest.

Since you are a student, you could try Studenth?lsan:
http://www.mah.se/Ar-student/Studenthalsan/Kontakt/

It might sound simple but as many has said, fresh air often helps, and also exercise could help you, because there are so much negative energy in blame, guilt, anxiety that's eating you alive right now. To get all that disappointment and anger of yourself out is good, to make it hurt a bit, without really hurting yourself.

I'm not religious myself, but church can also be a good thing for those who are. Perhaps there is a priest or a chaplain there who you could talk to?

There is also something called "Jourhavande pr?st", it's priests you could call, mail or chat with:
http://www.svenskakyrkan.se/jourhavandeprast
You can call between 9pm to 6 a.m every night. I'm not sure if they speak English, but almost every Swede do so you could give it a try. It's 112, which is the emergency number but you say "Jourhavande pr?st" (Perhaps its hard to pronounce but maybe you kan say something like "Shorhavande prest") to the operator and then there is probabably some wait, but its free and wont show up on your phone bill. I think that could be good when the nights and the bad thoughts come. You can also chat with them Monday to Thursday from 8pm to 12pm. Or write them a mail.

But get something to eat first!

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 11:22 AM

QUOTE (Emerentia @ 1.Mar.2015, 05:00 PM) *
Glad you are feeling a bit better. A good cry could really be a bit of a relief. And try to get something to eat too, even if it's hard at first, but you need it to think clearly. A starving mind can start playing tricks with you and make things feel worse than they are. You deserve eating, and looking at people and talking. And you also deserve feeling bad about what you did, I'm not sugercoating it, you deserve that too, but not to the extent that you should destroy your life over it.

I don't want to disrespect you father, but he was wrong. Life is to precious. Or maybe wasn't wrong, but he meant something more serious by living bad, than doing one stupid thing. You're sort if taking this out of proportion. You are not living bad, you did a stupid thing, it's about what you do with this from now on and what you learn from it. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to lose your life over this. I hope he would be angry, sad and disappointed of you, but after that he would say that you are his precious child and he loves you and trust you to never do this again. Parents and friends disappointment in you isn't the end of the world. It doesn't feel good, for you or for them, but you get through it. It's a life lesson. Those costs and hurts, but you do get through them even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

You did bad, but you own it. It would have been a lot worse if you hadn't been caught and given those stolen objects to your friend and felt pleased about it.

Sometimes when you tell people about something you are ashamed of, you will be surprised, that the hardest judge is usually oneself. I think it would be good for you to talk with some friend at least. Or some professional at first, that might be easier. They have confidentiality, and there is a lot of people who talk to them, there is no shame in that. Just to get some of this off your chest.

Since you are a student, you could try Studenth?lsan:
http://www.mah.se/Ar-student/Studenthalsan/Kontakt/

It might sound simple but as many has said, fresh air often helps, and also exercise could help you, because there are so much negative energy in blame, guilt, anxiety that's eating you alive right now. To get all that disappointment and anger of yourself out is good, to make it hurt a bit, without really hurting yourself.

I'm not religious myself, but church can also be a good thing for those who are. Perhaps there is a priest or a chaplain there who you could talk to?

There is also something called "Jourhavande pr?st", it's priests you could call, mail or chat with:
http://www.svenskakyrkan.se/jourhavandeprast
You can call between 9pm to 6 a.m every night. I'm not sure if they speak English, but almost every Swede do so you could give it a try. It's 112, which is the emergency number but you say "Jourhavande pr?st" (Perhaps its hard to pronounce but maybe you kan say something like "Shorhavande prest") to the operator and then there is probabably some wait, but its free and wont show up on your phone bill. I think that could be good when the nights and the bad thoughts come. You can also chat with them Monday to Thursday from 8pm to 12pm. Or write them a mail.

But get something to eat first!


Dear Emerentia,
I have been in a really bad shape and so scared last few days. Sent many lawyers an e-mail but some are too busy or some are not specialized in the area of my crime. And I tried to call LawLine for today. Called them 3 times waited each for approx 20mins. And when they finally answer they told me something in swedish and cut. I am guessing they are telling me that they don't speak swedish. Is it possible can you call them and explain my situation. I know it is so much to ask but I dunt have any swedish friends and I can't speak Swedish. Please help me. I just wanna know whether this stupid thing I did will affect my visa.
Thank you for help

Posted by: Gamla Hälsingebock 3.Mar.2015, 11:26 AM

Suicide is the permanent solution for a temporary problem...think about it!!!

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 11:34 AM

QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 3.Mar.2015, 11:26 AM) *
Suicide is the permanent solution for a temporary problem...think about it!!!

Dear Gamla
I feel like this is going to be permanent problem for me. I have been reading a lot about how people with criminal record refused an entry to countries, and is unable to find any job etc. I felt like my life is ruined because of this. And I don't wanna see it further. I just can't see the consequences.

Posted by: LLHope 3.Mar.2015, 12:53 PM

QUOTE (Guilty @ 3.Mar.2015, 11:34 AM) *
I have been reading a lot about how people with criminal record refused an entry to countries, and is unable to find any job etc.
You say that the you admitted the charge, and the response was that they would send a fine to you. The fine is what is called penningb

Posted by: mtcce 3.Mar.2015, 01:11 PM

Just be realistic- The police and lawyers should be able to give you an idea how serious the crime is and how it may affect you; if you're worried about visa, contact the migration board. You may also find a priest at your local church you can talk to. Call the psychiatric unit as Emerentia suggested, try and help others would be another way to stay positive.

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 01:20 PM

[quote name='LLHope' post='852695' date='3.Mar.2015, 12:53 PM']You say that the you admitted the charge, and the response was that they would send a fine to you. The fine is what is called penningb

Posted by: kokoko 3.Mar.2015, 01:24 PM

Hah, I wouldn't bother contacting migration board. You won't even do any jail time. I don't expect this to affect you in any concrete way, other than being upset that you are.
For the future; most jobs don't ask for criminal record. I guess if you were to work with little kids or at a company with connection to police/military etc., then that may cause a hiccup. Even then it is a minor thing. Don't worry unless your dream job is becoming a swedish spy wink.gif

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 01:31 PM

QUOTE (mtcce @ 3.Mar.2015, 01:11 PM) *
Just be realistic- The police and lawyers should be able to give you an idea how serious the crime is and how it may affect you; if you're worried about visa, contact the migration board. You may also find a priest at your local church you can talk to. Call the psychiatric unit as Emerentia suggested, try and help others would be another way to stay positive.

I was trying to contact lawyers in area but they replied they are not expert in this situation. And called police and they also said they can not say anything since so far nothing is registered in my name. And no fine record is recorded so far. They take it will take some time.
And emotionally and spritually this crime made me realize how wrong and bad person i was. And yesterday i went to local church and walked to home. Thought about so many things and gave some money to homeless people begging outside. They smiled and said "thank you". And i wanted to cry that time. But felt little better. I am sorry if i am talking about so many stupid things, It is just i have never been in this kind of trouble before, and guilt is eating me alive. And my emotions and feelings and mind all over. In one moment of time, i think clearly and try to solve this situation, then after fe minutes i just wanna hide under my blanket and cry, Then some moments i just feel guilt, and self disappointment, and blame, and feel bad... I am sorry again if it doesnt make sense again.

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 01:35 PM

QUOTE (kokoko @ 3.Mar.2015, 01:24 PM) *
Hah, I wouldn't bother contacting migration board. You won't even do any jail time. I don't expect this to affect you in any concrete way, other than being upset that you are.
For the future; most jobs don't ask for criminal record. I guess if you were to work with little kids or at a company with connection to police/military etc., then that may cause a hiccup. Even then it is a minor thing. Don't worry unless your dream job is becoming a swedish spy wink.gif

You made me feel little optimistic at least. :-) I used to think i would become cop when i was small. I have no idea how i allowed myself to break a law and steal. But i wont blame anything or anyone or any situation for it. It was all my stupid decision which i somehow think ok at the moment. But thank you so much for support.

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 01:38 PM

And thank you everyone to reading it and trying to reply me instead of judging me. This thread is only place i could talk whatever is in my mind, and keeping me going. Otherwise i would have lost it. Thank you people. thank you sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif

Posted by: Essingen55 3.Mar.2015, 01:43 PM

Like other people who have read this, I think you sound a really nice person. If were in Stockholm I would offer to buy you lunch. It makes me particularly sad if you are Chinese. I am not myself, but I have a lot to be grateful for from China so I feel sad if a young Chinese person has made a mistake. But that is life I am afraid...we all make mistakes and this one isn't a particularly serious one, despite what you might think.

So please try and gradually think less about it. Consider this...if you hadn't been caught, you might have been tempted to steel other things. You received a big wake-up call, but it may actually have been a blessing in disguise.

Keep going!

Posted by: LLHope 3.Mar.2015, 01:48 PM

QUOTE (Guilty @ 3.Mar.2015, 01:31 PM) *
And called police and they also said they can not say anything since so far nothing is registered in my name. And no fine record is recorded so far.
The police do not make the decision with regards what happens. They will pass the case to the public prosecutor, who then will make a decision to either offer you a chance to pay a fine or take you to court.

Since the total value of the goods appear to be under 1000:- then it will be classed as snatteri (petty-theft) rather than st

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 02:02 PM

QUOTE (Essingen55 @ 3.Mar.2015, 01:43 PM) *
Like other people who have read this, I think you sound a really nice person. If were in Stockholm I would offer to buy you lunch. It makes me particularly sad if you are Chinese. I am not myself, but I have a lot to be grateful for from China so I feel sad if a young Chinese person has made a mistake. But that is life I am afraid...we all make mistakes and this one isn't a particularly serious one, despite what you might think.

So please try and gradually think less about it. Consider this...if you hadn't been caught, you might have been tempted to steel other things. You received a big wake-up call, but it may actually have been a blessing in disguise.

Keep going!

Dear Essingen55,
Thank you so much for support. I am not sure if i am allowed to be called nice person. I always tried to be nice to people and make people smile. But that I just thought somehow " No one seems to notice me and this store is rich anyways" and i actually thought if i dont spend money on this gift for my friend, i can go to her party with extra wine and would not look like cheap student, and she would like it more. That was what i had in my mind. Which i blame myself for forever.
Yes it was real big big lesson for me. Not only because of the fact i got caught and going to be punished. As morally, it showed me how wrong i have been going. You are right in some moments now, i actually think maybe it is actually better i get caught. Otherwise i would never understand how wrong i was. Cop who introgated me, told me "This accessories you stole is not worth your time, my time or any of this. I hope you got really big lesson. And you are already 25 and this is not act of an adult". Still remember he saying it.

Posted by: Guilty 3.Mar.2015, 02:11 PM

[quote name='LLHope' post='852710' date='3.Mar.2015, 01:48 PM']The police do not make the decision with regards what happens. They will pass the case to the public prosecutor, who then will make a decision to either offer you a chance to pay a fine or take you to court.

Since the total value of the goods appear to be under 1000:- then it will be classed as snatteri (petty-theft) rather than st

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