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Slow Sunday Joke Off!

Spread a smile or two!

Gamla Hälsingebock
post 4.Aug.2018, 03:16 PM
Post #256
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What would happen if you got scared half to death twice???
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Bsmith
post 4.Aug.2018, 10:34 PM
Post #257
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

A man is watching a movie on television with his wife. The wife says, "Do you think that Angelina Jolie is very attractive?" The man thinks about it, being careful to not to jump to the answer too soon. "Yeah, I guess you can say she is." They go back to watching the film. The guy is comforted that nothing came of that loaded question.

Six years later, the same couple are having breakfast. The man, sitting at the kitchen table, asks, "Can I have another egg?" The wife, standing at the stove, turns and angrily yells, "Why don't you ask Angelina Jolie to make you your egg if she's so beautiful?"
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 5.Aug.2018, 01:05 AM
Post #258
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Apparently, someone gets stabbed in London every 52 seconds...













Poor bastard!!!
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nosmas10
post 15.Aug.2018, 07:55 AM
Post #259
Joined: 13.Aug.2018

QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 5.Aug.2018, 02:05 AM) *
Apparently, someone gets stabbed in London every 52 seconds.... Poor bastard!!!


Feels real for me.
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Bsmith
post 17.Feb.2019, 07:49 PM
Post #260
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Did you hear there was a big paddle sale at the boat store?

It was quite an oar deal.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 18.Feb.2019, 08:28 PM
Post #261
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What would the Jetsons be called if they were black???

The Jetsons you racist!!!
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Uncle Fred
post 17.Mar.2019, 01:35 PM
Post #262
Joined: 16.Apr.2008

Whether your right or left, for or against, you must admit this is good.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIeWF3mZfCg
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Bsmith
post 17.Mar.2019, 10:38 PM
Post #263
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 16.Apr.2019, 09:23 PM
Post #264
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What!!!

Trump win the presidency!!! laugh.gif
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 19.Aug.2019, 12:27 AM
Post #265
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Tarzan was vine swinging through the jungle and saw Jane ahead in a clearing...

He called to her and said: Jane, grab vine and I will take you to the waterfall...

Jane dutifully reached up and grabbed what she thought was the vine...











And that's how Tarzan got his jungle call!!!
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Bsmith
post 19.Aug.2019, 12:00 PM
Post #266
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Aug.2019, 12:55 AM
Post #267
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?





A Referee.!!!
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Bsmith
post 20.Aug.2019, 11:36 AM
Post #268
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel.

Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan."

Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan."

When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees.

The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive.

The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Aug.2019, 11:08 PM
Post #269
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 9.Oct.2019, 04:56 PM
Post #270
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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