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Todays Joke for you

Miss Kitten
post 30.Jan.2009, 10:45 PM
Post #31
Location: Kronoberg
Joined: 20.Aug.2007

Barbecue burns???? Hahaha. Yep, he was toasted all right. Trying to get that situation under control was like pouring gasoline on a fire, quite literally.
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Uncle Fred
post 24.Mar.2018, 02:41 PM
Post #32
Joined: 16.Apr.2008

gsurya was talking to the village idiot, gsurya told the village idiot that he had a new girlfriend.
The village idiot said "that's nice", gsurya said "Yea, she's teaching me how to write". The village idiot said "have you written anything then", gsurya said "Oh yes, I wrote her this letter".
gsurya showed the village idiot the letter, the village idiot then said "what does it say then", gsurya replied "I don't know, I haven't learnt how to read yet"
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 24.Mar.2018, 05:02 PM
Post #33
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

There are two weevils sitting on a fence...One is large and the other is small...

What is the difference between them???



One of them is the lesser of two weevils!!!




unsure.gif Hiding now!!! laugh.gif
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Uncle Fred
post 24.Mar.2018, 05:37 PM
Post #34
Joined: 16.Apr.2008

QUOTE (Gamla Hälsingebock @ 24.Mar.2018, 05:02 PM) *
There are two weevils sitting on a fence...One is large and the other is small...What is the difference between them???One of them is the lesser of two weevils!!! ... (show full quote)

Says "GOD" and slaps forehead!
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 24.Mar.2018, 06:00 PM
Post #35
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

I know, pretty bad!!! laugh.gif
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 27.Mar.2018, 08:08 PM
Post #36
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Another gem...


The worried wife asks her husband...Honey do I need a facelift???

He most assuringly replies...No sweetie, I can still see your neck!!!
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Uncle Fred
post 28.Mar.2018, 12:54 PM
Post #37
Joined: 16.Apr.2008

QUOTE (Gamla Hälsingebock @ 27.Mar.2018, 09:08 PM) *
Another gem.... The worried wife asks her husband...Honey do I need a facelift???. He most assuringly replies...No sweetie, I can still see your neck!!!

I got up at 6am this morning and read this, thought no it must be too early me. 9am came, I had had breakfast and looked at it a gain.
Thought no it's still too early I will wait till after lunch. Just had lunch and WHAT THE HELL IS FUNNY?

Come on.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 28.Mar.2018, 01:19 PM
Post #38
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

If it has to be explained then it will never be understood...a la "blonde" jokes...

Another gem...from the way distant past...3rd grade or so...

What time is it when two Fords crash into each other???


Tin to tin!!! rolleyes.gif
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Bsmith
post 28.Mar.2018, 02:47 PM
Post #39
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

What did the mermaid wear to her math class?
An algae bra.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 28.Mar.2018, 03:14 PM
Post #40
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

God help me for this one!!!

How do you know if an elephant was in your refrigerator???



You see his footprints in the cream cheese!!! blink.gif ...
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 29.Mar.2018, 01:37 AM
Post #41
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Here's a real one!!!


Donald Trump, a Hindu and a Rabbi.

While traveling, their vehicle breaks down in a storm and the nearest shelter is an isolated farm house...

Needing a place to stay they are told by the farm owner that he can only provide house accommodations for two of them and the third person must sleep in the barn...

The Hindu agrees to sleep in the barn, after about 10 minutes there is a knock at the door and he tells the farmer, there is a cow in there and it is against my religion to sleep in the same place with a Holy and revered creature...

The Rabbi then agrees to sleep in the barn, again after 10 minutes or so, there is a knock on the door and he tells the farmer that due to his religious kosher beliefs, he too cannot sleep in the barn...

Donald Trump says it's all right I will sleep in the barn, and again after 10 minutes there is a noise at the door, when the farmer opens it, it's the cow and the pig!!!
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Bsmith
post 30.Mar.2018, 04:42 PM
Post #42
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

I'm combining Easter and April fools day this year.

I'm sending the kids out to look for Easter Eggs I haven't hidden.
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Uncle Fred
post 2.Apr.2018, 02:20 PM
Post #43
Joined: 16.Apr.2008

QUOTE (Bsmith @ 30.Mar.2018, 05:42 PM) *
I'm combining Easter and April fools day this year.. I'm sending the kids out to look for Easter Eggs I haven't hidden.

Mean
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 2.Apr.2018, 04:04 PM
Post #44
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Atheistic...
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gsurya
post 5.Apr.2018, 02:17 PM
Post #45
Location: Malmö
Joined: 8.Jan.2010

Today, the Swedish customs/police bring their own brand of dark humor to you.

https://www.thelocal.se/20180405/terror-ala...ghurt-and-honey
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