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Slow Sunday Joke Off!

Spread a smile or two!

Hisingen
post 14.Jan.2014, 11:07 AM
Post #61
Joined: 5.Jul.2012

There was this guy with a thick shock of hair, who went to the doctor's complaining of headaches.
He came back out very disgruntled as the doctor said he couldn't treat him. When asked why, he replied that the doctor had said that he couldn't see the wood for the fleas.
tongue.gif
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Molihua Matsurika
post 16.Jan.2014, 05:02 PM
Post #62
Location: United States
Joined: 8.Jan.2014

It's not the fart that kills; it's the sm?ll

cool.gif
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 17.Jan.2014, 01:56 AM
Post #63
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

I thought this might be correct for this thread...it's what is going on in New York today. rolleyes.gif

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/14/d...ref=mostpopular
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Ivor stephé
post 17.Jan.2014, 02:22 AM
Post #64
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

I didn't think the royal birth was until mid February? Still it does look and behave like its grandfather.
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 07:22 AM
Post #65
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

Even mocking the unborn now!



Lower than a rattlesnakes belly is our Ivor!


I can see why you spent all Xmas on here posting, with an attitude like yours how could you have mates!


I hope the wee baby is born fine and healthy, if you dislike someone you don
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 17.Jan.2014, 02:02 PM
Post #66
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

I thought that we did "dead" corpses already laugh.gif
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 02:20 PM
Post #67
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 17.Jan.2014, 02:02 PM) *
I thought that we did "dead" corpses already laugh.gif



Necrophilia??

And less of the WE if that is what you are on about!

I was just listing some of the more memorable topics lil`Ivor has been getting worked up over, I could have mentioned ?many more.

Anyway...where?s the humour...the jokes, it?s Friday start the weekend with a giggle! biggrin.gif
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Ivor stephé
post 17.Jan.2014, 02:32 PM
Post #68
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

Sid was the victim of ID theft, now he is just called S.
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 02:52 PM
Post #69
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

Gamla you and your dead corpses got me thinking and a joke I heard many moons ago came back to me...


In Holland you have of course legal ladies of the night and brothels and such but there are still back street run brothels and one night a raid on such a premises took place.

There was squad cars and paddy wagons and cops all over the place, scantily dressed young women being led away to one wagon the customers being led to another.

On the top floor of the building the police entered a room and found a pretty young girl astride a dead man, a corpse, a dead corpse even, this was a new one even for the Dutch coppers.

Not knowing what to charge her with the judge was summoned, a grumpy man at the best of times his humour was far from good at 4am that cold winters morning, he read the cops report and demanded he see the girl in question.

She was led into the room he was sat in and he looked her up and down and spoke...

"I can see you are a very pretty and seemingly intelligent young woman" he said in a sympathetic voice "Now what in God
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Ivor stephé
post 17.Jan.2014, 03:01 PM
Post #70
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

QUOTE
paddy wagons


Is that like a horse and cart/caravan? please elaborate.
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 03:30 PM
Post #71
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

QUOTE (Ivor steph? @ 17.Jan.2014, 03:01 PM) *
Is that like a horse and cart/caravan? please elaborate.



I keep forgetting there are those such as yourself that need jokes explained...I know how that poor blind guy a jokes back felt!

Anyway Ivor I shall educate you, during the American civil war when my ancestors were forced to go fight and free your ancestors many didn?t agree with the way the wealthy could buy their way outta the draft and they rioted.

Most of those rioting were Irish so the name given to the wagons taking them away was Paddy wagon and the name remains today.

You don?t know much Ivor but stick around kid and we?ll teach you a thing or two...dead corpse...still cracks me up that one! biggrin.gif
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Ivor stephé
post 17.Jan.2014, 03:49 PM
Post #72
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

Thanks for clearing that up.

I didn't realise that the Irish were so synonymous with rioting, that law enforcement felt the need to name an incarceration vehicle after them.
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 04:07 PM
Post #73
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

QUOTE (Ivor steph? @ 17.Jan.2014, 03:49 PM) *
Thanks for clearing that up.. I didn't realise that the Irish were so synonymous with rioting, that law enforcement felt the need to name an incarceration vehicle after them.



It was more a case of fighting back against an injustice, the rich and privileged could pay money and avoid being sent to war were as the Irish were expected to go fight to free your people from a life of cotton picking.

I hope you don?t get the wrong idea and think the riots were like the ones your people had in LA when a drugged up drunk driver was caught speeding and brutally beaten by the cops or recently in London when the police shot and killed another one of your people and lots of your people went looting and such for days.

Maybe it?s time they changed the name from paddy to something else...any suggestions Ivor?
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Ivor stephé
post 17.Jan.2014, 04:11 PM
Post #74
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

What exactly is "my people"?
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Seamus Sean
post 17.Jan.2014, 04:29 PM
Post #75
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

QUOTE (Ivor steph? @ 17.Jan.2014, 04:11 PM) *
What exactly is "my people"?



That should be "Who are my people?" Ivor. No need to thank me again for clearing things up for you...we are here to educate you! wink.gif
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