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Moving back to Sweden after 17 years!

Any advice appreciated...

post 9.Nov.2012, 03:23 PM
Post #1
Joined: 9.Nov.2012

Left Sweden in '96 and have been in Ireland since 2000, got married in 2008, had daughter in 2010, separating in 2013 and going back to my mammy! Will be bringing my little girl with me. So, looking for advice from people in similar situations, especially on the following topics:

Shipping! Won't be bringing anything big, but at least 6 or so boxes, what can I expect to pay and can anyone recommend a shipping company? Also, am currently living in the middle of nowhere in the northwest, will I have to bring everything down to Dublin or are there companies actually doing collections in the arse-end of nowhere?

Re separation, I'm hoping it'll be fairly amicable, at least discussions this far has been. I'm expecting best path would be to talk to a mediator and then take the resulting, report? not sure what they produce, and bring to a solicitor to have him/her draft a deed of separation. Is that the best way to do things?

Language! My poor little girl doesn't speak a word of Swedish, I barely do myself anymore. What's the best way of teaching her Swedish? I'm hoping I can continue to speak English to her (to make sure she has some sort of constant in her life) and that she'll pick up Swedish from my family and from crèche etc, is that feasible? How has others done it?

That's my main worries at the moment, but if anyone can think of anything else I should start worrying about please let me know!

Many thanks smile.gif
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post 9.Nov.2012, 03:35 PM
Post #2
Joined: 10.Dec.2010

Welcome home. I hope it is amicable as you need his permission to remove his daughter from Ireland.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 03:37 PM
Post #3
Joined: 26.Jul.2011

QUOTE (PrincessLea @ 9.Nov.2012, 02:23 PM) *
Left Sweden in '96 and have been in Ireland since 2000, got married in 2008, had daughter in 2010, separating in 2013 and going back to my mammy! Will be bringing my l ... (show full quote)

I think the answer to many of your and your daughters troubles is having a good social network. Make sure you build a good social network of family and friends. For both you and your daughter. Get your daughter to spend time with swedish kids and she will pick up on the language and accent. For your sake it`s important to have friends when you try to settle down. It`s good for everything from getting a job to spending time during the cold months of the year. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do? Are there any clubs or groups in the area where you live? That`S a good way to make friends.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 03:57 PM
Post #4
Location: Europe
Joined: 28.Oct.2008

As others have stated, without a legally binding agreement concerning your child leaving Ireland - Then you could and most probably charged with kidnapping.

In regards to Sweden and a child, I am sure you will be fine.
Although personally I cant see the reason why you would move so late in your child's age?
As by then you will have missed all the best freebies Sweden has to offer, such parental leave etc. And will only be faced with issues like poor schooling.

Either way, best of luck.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 04:07 PM
Post #5
Joined: 10.Dec.2010

@byke, the child is 2 years old. Still time for freebies.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 04:08 PM
Post #6
Joined: 9.Nov.2012

Thanks for all the replies!

Hm, well, yes, I'm not worried about the whole issue of taking my daughter out of the country, we have that covered.

Eh, Byke? Not sure what you're getting at, just the fact that putting a child in creche in Sweden is aprox €250 monthly, compared to around €1400 in Ireland!!! And don't get me started on standards!!!

Really, my main concern at this stage is shipping, and I would love to hear from someone who's had a similar experience regarding moving an English speaking child to Sweden.

many thanks again.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 04:20 PM
Post #7
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

When it concerns your child learning Swedish don´t worry she´ll pick it up quickly and just talk to her in English sometimes. I had the same situation with my daughter. You could get the video Fem myror är fler än fyra elefanter. My granddaughter whom lives in London thinks it´s great and is learning the language.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 05:05 PM
Post #8
Location: Skåne
Joined: 1.Oct.2005

PrincessLea, don't worry about the language, we moved here from Ireland a little over 2 years ago, my wife had always spoken Swedish to the kids but they always replied in English before moving here. Once they were here it was like flicking a switch and they both started to speak Swedish, my youngest who was 3 at the time was fluent for her age within 2 months.

Also I have some Japanese friends who moved here about a year ago their daughter who is the same age as my youngest had never even heard Swedish before moving here and she also is fluent for her age, it took her 3 or 4 months only.

Kids can just soak in new languages, I wish I could!

The language will be the easiest hurdle to get over.

As regards the boxes check out they will pick up from any address in Ireland and deliver to any address in Sweden. I checked a quote for 6 standard size moving boxes and it came to about €500. Shipping from Ireland to Scandinavia is generally a crazy price so I'm not sure if you will find it much better than that but you might.

Best of luck.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 10:22 PM
Post #9
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

kid, we moved over with a 2 and a 4yr old, the 4yr old was probably about 75/25% English/ Swedish speaking, and the younger nearer 90/10%.

After 6 mths of dagis and local playing, relatives etc.. They were on an equal with any of their friends at dagis. A year plus and they are picking up accents different from what they arrived with.

At that age, you have nothing to fear. If you are worried buy them a few Swedish kids movies, but of things she has watched in english, she'll know the story, but learn the words. You can start teaching them now, slowly but surely it will all sink in.

ps. Ignore Byke, he just at the kind of age, male menopause or something similar.
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post 9.Nov.2012, 10:53 PM
Post #10
Joined: 5.Jul.2012

A small contribution from one at the other end of the age scale.
I moved back to the UK as a family, my daughter being 3½ and only Swedish speaking. English came out of nowhere, and on starting school at 4 she was as one with the rest of the class. We returned to Sweden when she was 10, all of a 3½ year-old's Swedish more or less forgotten, but it soon came back again and she fitted in once more with Sweden and schooling here, except for the fact that she was ahead of her class due to the early English start. Your youngster will be the least of your worries from that point of view. They are like sponges at that age, soaking up everything about them, and before you know it she will be 'teaching you Swedish'!!
Others here have given advice which is more attributable to you, yourself. Much of it is really good, too, and I hope that you take it to heart. As to the seperation - there I fear the two of you will not find it easy. Your daughter less so due to age, but be prepared for awkward questions later on, and only give honest straight answers, or she will see through you.
Best of luck. Very tough times lie ahead, and you will need to be strong - for both your sakes. smile.gif
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post 9.Nov.2012, 11:53 PM
Post #11
Joined: 25.May.2011

listen up Swedish Bitch ! i hope and pray that the father of your Irish daughter will prevent you from stealing his daughter from him. you run home to "Mammy" on your own. don't assume you have any rights when it comes to running off with your daughter. hang your head in shame for even thinking along those lines.
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post 10.Nov.2012, 12:10 PM
Post #12
Joined: 9.Nov.2012

Thanks for all your replies! It's reassuring to hear that there's been so many little ones out there addapting to new languages so quickly! I'm sure my little girl want have any problems so.

It's none of no ones business really, but this decission hasn't been one I've made easily and I know it's going to be tough, but I really beleive it is the by far best solution for both me and my daughter.

Oh and will check out parcel2go as well, thanks for that! :-)
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Mark C Griffin
post 30.Dec.2012, 02:56 PM
Post #13
Joined: 1.Feb.2005

Hi P,

Not sure if I'm too late but may I suggest contacting Johanna Schiratzki who is a professor at Department of Social Sciences, Stockholm, Sweden. Johanna can offer professional advise and expertise and point you in the right direction for professional support with your very difficult and stressful family matters.

Discuss your seperation details and mention your urgent requirement for professional assistance and guidance as an expat living in Ireland. Gaining propfessional assistance / representation in both countries can deliver significant benefits and results for all individuals concerned :-)

See links which offer good insight and important information.

Good luck & best wishes to concerned :-)

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post 31.Dec.2012, 12:09 AM
Post #14
Location: Skåne
Joined: 5.Oct.2012

QUOTE (byke @ 9.Nov.2012, 03:57 PM) *
As others have stated, without a legally binding agreement concerning your child leaving Ireland - Then you could and most probably charged with kidnapping.As by then you will ... (show full quote)

Bull crap. All you have to do is inform the father of where you will be living. Kidnapping implies that you have not done this and is a prerequisite for any such allegations to be bought.

Parental leave applies until the child is 8 years old and can be taken at any time up to that age. "Child" benefits apply for many things right up to age 26 in Sweden.

What you should be worrying about is a lifetime of distant parenting for your child. AT two years of age, assuming you lived together up to now, that child knows exactly who her pappa is and will be acutely aware he is not there anymore. You will need to deal with that, and the long distant travel, the Summers she is away from you because pappa has custodial rights etc etc. Not to mention the depression, guilt and other adverse affects distant parenting has on children. You did ask what you should be thinking about, right?
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post 1.Jan.2013, 08:33 PM
Post #15
Joined: 22.Dec.2012

Welcome back to the land of the robots buddy! emotionless robotic people, cold weather and darkness!
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