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Found Out That I May Have A Child in Sweden

American Father, Swedish Mother

post 8.Sep.2013, 06:00 PM
Post #1
Joined: 8.Sep.2013


I would like to know if anyone has any knowledge of Swedish Family / Custody Law concerning a child born out of wedlock to a Swedish woman and an American Man.

I am an American but living abroad in Asia and have just found out that I may have a child in Sweden with my ex girlfriend.

Our situation was that we had a terrible break up and she moved back to Sweden when she had just gotten pregnant 3 years ago.

She has recently sent me an email saying that we have son together and I am in a bit of shock.

We were only together for a few months and when we separated we were not even talking.

I am not in a position to take care of or even desire to be a parent to this child that I supposedly have. I am not even sure that I am the father.

It has been 3 years since I have spoken to this woman and I don't wish to speak to her again.

What recourse does she have if any against me?

Can she force me to share custody of the child or make me pay any child support even is she lives in Sweden and I do not?

It may sound terrible, but we had really left on bad terms and I am happy not to be involved with this woman.

Additionally, I had heard that she had married a Swedish man since moving back home.

Would anyone be able to shed some light on my situation in a legal sense?

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
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post 8.Sep.2013, 06:14 PM
Post #2
Joined: 27.Jan.2012

You can typically get a 15 minute consultation with an attorney for free and I would suggest that you contact one.

It might sound terrible? It does sound terrible.

Man up.
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Seamus Sean
post 8.Sep.2013, 09:16 PM
Post #3
Joined: 4.Oct.2009

If you and her weren´t talking when you broke up how did you know you had broken up?? blink.gif
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post 9.Sep.2013, 12:13 AM
Post #4
Joined: 18.Jul.2009

QUOTE (olga118 @ 8.Sep.2013, 05:14 PM) *
You can typically get a 15 minute consultation with an attorney for free and I would suggest that you contact one.

Does this apply in Asia where the op lives ????
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post 9.Sep.2013, 06:08 AM
Post #5
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

simple solution; DNA test.

You send your respective samples to an independent lab, then you'll both get a letter back, say if you are / are not the child father. Simple.

Then if positive, you can tackle the complex stuff and man up to being a financially contributing father, even if you are absent as a parent or custodian.
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post 9.Sep.2013, 09:19 AM
Post #6
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 1.Sep.2013

First you need to understand that in Sweden custody is about who has the right to make decisions on behalf of the child. This includes, where and who it lives with, school, sign official papers etc...

When a child is born outside of marriage it is automatically 100% custody for the mother, and notice has to be given to the social authorities that it is to be shared. I would doubt she would write over any custody to you since you are not in the country and that would make it very tough to get your signature!

Social Authorities also have a duty to investigate who the father of the child is if the mother does not name someone, though this investigation does not go too thorough! One of the reasons behind this is not only to determine the parent, but also sets the basis for maintenance and more importantly in Sweden, inheritance, since under Swedish inheritance law the child automatically inherits a portion of each parents estate, it is also used to make sure that there is no inter-family marriages!

Question is, did she name you as the father? If she did, and you are unsure, then you can request from social a DNA test to determine paternity. If you are the father, then since the child does not live with you makes you liable to pay maintenance, there is a basic maintenance allowance that is actually paid directly by the state to the mother, to ensure it is paid, they can try to recover from you. Then there can be additional maintenance, that amount can vary and it is based upon what standard of living the child would have had had it lived a portion of the time with you (ie. if the mother has a lavish lifestyle and yours is lower income and not lavish, you would pay maintenance to reflect your lifestyle, not the lifestyle she has with the child). Indirectly Sweden tries to be reasonable in these things wink.gif You are not paying anything to the mother only what is needed for the child.

Your responsibilities with regards the child do not disappear just because she has re-married! It is possibly your child, not her new husbands. The only exception to this would be if the new husband adopted the child, becoming the legal parent.

Get the DNA test done, think of the child. If the child knows that you are the father and you do not want anything to do with it, think carefully and try not being so heartless, the poor child will grow up and this knowledge will eat away deep inside often surfacing when the child reaches their late teens, early 20s in the form of abandonment issues etc... sad.gif

As an earlier poster said ... Be a MAN, step up, get the DNA test done, and if proof is positive, accept your responsibilities for this young life you were part of creating!
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Ivor stephé
post 9.Sep.2013, 09:26 AM
Post #7
Joined: 20.Aug.2013

You were in a relationship and your partner at the time got pregnant and went her own way knowing this information but not disclosing it to you. Then 3 years later she contacts you again to tell you that you could now be the father to a child you knew nothing about.

What a B**ch.
Why didn't she contact you earlier?
Thats a real scumbag move to run off secretly pregnant and only contact the potential father years later.

As a potential new father, you may not want any contact with her or your supposed love child.
And the emphasis of proof will need to be from her. She can ask for a DNA test, but cant force one without the help of courts locally and abroad.

How she will be able to do this, given the border differences looks to be a bit of a legal minefield.
And it could take years for such a case to go through the courts in Sweden to then go through the courts in the USA to get you to prove paternity. That is if you are even living in the US at that point.

But does she have the motivation?
Why has she contacted you now?
And how has she been able to contact you?

You have decide yourself where you stand from a moral stand point.
But from a legal standpoint, she has an uphill battle to prove paternity if you are not interested.
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post 9.Sep.2013, 11:57 AM
Post #8
Joined: 27.Jan.2012

QUOTE (dahlin @ 9.Sep.2013, 12:13 AM) *
Does this apply in Asia where the op lives ????

It may sound novel, but he could actually telephone an attorney. I'm pretty sure they have telephones in Asia.
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