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Divorce, Property Division and Custody

Need advice

post 21.Sep.2017, 10:00 AM
Post #1
Joined: 21.Sep.2017

I am an American who has been married to a swede for 14 years, we have lived in Sweden the last 6 years and have two children aged 11 and 8.
After my wife cheated on me and I discovered this, she filed for divorce.
Although I am a permanent resident of Sweden I have never learnt the language so going through the legal process is challenging. I do not have money for a lawyer.
I am hoping to reach out to others in a similar position to me or who have been through it and maybe get some help on what to expect

The ex wife has made claims of violence and has involved social services. These were lies and I have been cleared of all accusations, however she is seeking sole custody of the kids but happy for the kids to spend 50 percent of the time with me. From what I have been advised it is almost impossible for anyone to be granted sole custody but I am still worried.

Property Division
We bought our house out of the proceeds of the sale from our house back in the USA. Prior to that the money to purchase our house in the USA came 100% out of my savings and income. I have received valuations on our property but she is obtaining valuations alot lower than mine hoping to buy me out, because we cant agree on a value the property divider has said he will get a valuation. he also said that if she provides proof from the bank she can service the mortgage then I will have no choice but to let her buy the house. She has controlled all my finances so I do not have the ability to get a home loan in my own right.
She also disputes the debts we have, in particular a loan i took out from a friend last year when we were in bug financial trouble. I agreed to pay it back to him but she did not now till after the fact about the loan. She is now refusing to accept that as a debt on the marriage.

I am worried I am going to lose my kids and every dollar i have ever invested into the marriage, has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer advice?
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post 21.Sep.2017, 10:04 AM
Post #2
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 19.Aug.2017

QUOTE (NYDave @ 21.Sep.2017, 11:00 AM) *
After my wife cheated on me and I discovered this, she filed for divorce.

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post 21.Sep.2017, 10:11 AM
Post #3
Joined: 4.Oct.2015

Have you looked into rättshjälp? (here it shows you whether or not you are eligible for it) I think it would mean free or severely discounted legal advice. One of my colleagues used it before when she had a custody battle with her ex when she was younger
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post 21.Sep.2017, 10:36 AM
Post #4
Joined: 7.Mar.2016

Since we are talking about Sweden here, it doesn't matter if you are American, Swedish or from any other country, your ex wife will be supported by her system and most likely will get sole custody while you get visitation right.
A Swedish woman once told me we know how to manipulate the family court with our crocodile tears, and I was chatting with a Swedish man who said there was a law around 2006 or so and from his explanation that law gives the woman the right to just say you have a problem with no evidence and she doesn't need to prove anything.
I have met Swedish-American teenagers who have no contact with their American parents, it's such a pathetic family situation that this feminist states has thrown children into.
Just don't get too emotional about this, prepare your mind for a very rough and bumpy ride, because once a Swedish woman becomes your ex wife and there are kids involved and to worsen the situation you are a foreigner, she would do everything to be the one in charge even if it means taking you off the radar.
I can't count all the sob stories I've heard from Swedish men about lost of custody and some times visitation rights.
A big word of advice....don't waste your dollar in a custody court case with her, let her have her sole custody but make sure famileratten or a reputable court drafts your visitation agreements.
Two Swedish men told me categorically that the fight for sole custody by Swedish women is all about the money they get on the kids, I'm still in confusion about this as to how much can they make from this.
When you meet your kids assure them how much you love them and can lay down your life for them.
Hang out with your close friends and don't let this bring you down fam.
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post 21.Sep.2017, 12:46 PM
Post #5
Joined: 17.Jan.2011

Have you seen this info in EN?

In Sweden, custody/residence is all about the rights of the children.
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post 22.Sep.2017, 07:41 AM
Post #6
Joined: 21.Oct.2012

My sympathies NYDave. Sweden is a horrible place for non native. You see the worst of it. The more you will fight, the more you will be disgust by the bias Swedes have against non-natives. They will be extremely condescending, and the worst in all this is that they actually have laws to make your life miserable.

Your ex wife will win all the way. It has nothing to do with justice. Write a book or something, so people stop looking at Sweden like if it was a kind of model of virtue.
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