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Need some advice regarding psychological help

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Mad Hatter
post 18.Oct.2017, 02:52 PM
Post #1
Joined: 23.Aug.2015

Hello,

My girlfriend is in need of psychological help. This is a fact, and has been told to us at an earlier visit with a psychologist here at "Södertälje Psykiatricentrum". We visited there last year (Following a mental breakdown, suicidal thoughts, refusing to eat and drink, leave the house etc), and was told that there was something "wrong" with her. We followed up with subsequent visits that would contribute towards a diagnosis of her "illness". For certain reasons, she didn't go to the appointment to find out her diagnosis, and we heard nothing more. She seemed to improve and told me that she was feeling much better, so we didn't follow it up.

Fast forward to 2 months ago. Our boss (We work at the same place) employs his friends to fill the gaps where people had left, and lets them run wild. They did whatever they want, broke all the rules and were complete shitbags. As the Skyddsombud, this frustrated my girlfriend to no end. When she started to get serious with the boss (In private) about his friends breaking all the rules and endangering people (We're talking about drinking a forklift with one hand, texting with another. Speeding around trying to "race" with your friends. That kind of behaviour), things got a lot worse. It seemed that the boss wasn't being too professional about this either, as he was telling them that she had complained about them. One of them took to threatening her, giving her rape threats, saying that he was "going to break into our house and rape her before he beat the shit out of her". That toxicity spread onto me because, and I quote, "I should have my woman on a leash". (Very muslim boss and friends). He proceeded to try to beat me in the bosses office because I refused to "get her in line". Anyway, after a long battle AGAINST my boss, with the help of our union and the police, the guy got fired.

My boss became incredible toxic and deliberately unhelpful after this. Seemingly doing what he could to make my girlfriend feel bad. Accused her of stealing, and suspended her with no proof, until the union got involved, refusing to pay sick pay without a doctors note from DAY ONE (Despite the fact that you sometimes can't get an appointment on day one, let alone convince a doctor to write a note). Demanded her dentists phone number so that he could call and check that she was there when she said. A long list of petty things like this.

All of this stress has led her to completely crash, and we are now at the state that she was in last year, not eating - no energy - no willpower to do anything etc. I called the Psychiatrist last week for an appointment to resume where we left off and was told that was fine. We went, and instead of seeing the psychologist, we saw a nurse with a chip on her shoulder. She immediately started to barrage my (already fragile) girlfriend with remarks such as "Why should we even help if you can't be bothered to come" and "look me in the eyes when you talk to me or get out". It should be noted that I told her that she was incredibly upset and on the verge of an anxiety attack just at the thought of having to go to a psychologist, let along being barraged with that shit.

The nurse then referred us to Vårdcentralen and stated "If they think you need help they will send you back. Bye bye.". So off we went. She was put on sick leave for one month and that was it. Nothing else. I just called the psychologist office again to try to book an appointment with an actual doctor there, but got told that "If she wont call herself, I'm not helping her.".

How hard can it be to get help? This is a person who is very unstable, with a boyfriend doing his utmost to help her to get better, and is getting every door shut in his face.

I'm at a loss. Does anyone have anywhere that they can point me, or any advice?

Edit: Regardless of how she should feel, she is ashamed that she needs help to function smoothly. She has anxiety attacks almost daily, constant stressing over the smallest things. She isn't at work (sjukskriven) which is giving her stress about paying her bills. She is getting no help, which is making her feel worse, which is meaning she will be sjukskriven for longer. All of the stressing and lack of eating due to stress is leaving her with no energy and mentally exhausted, preventing her from looking and applying for new jobs, to get out of her current.

It's one big terrible circle.
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flaneur
post 18.Oct.2017, 03:05 PM
Post #2
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 19.Aug.2017

Wow, you're such a wonderful boyfriend.

Anyway, there's plenty of private psychologists (that cost a lot), but you should be able to get an appointment at the vårdcentral you're registered at. I went to see a psychologist when I had a stressful situation 2 years ago and they made me an appointment within 2 days.
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Gjeebes
post 18.Oct.2017, 05:23 PM
Post #3
Joined: 20.Feb.2012

@Mad Hatter, PM sent.
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intrepidfox
post 18.Oct.2017, 07:42 PM
Post #4
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

QUOTE (flaneur @ 18.Oct.2017, 02:05 PM) *
Wow, you're such a wonderful boyfriend.Anyway, there's plenty of private psychologists (that cost a lot), but you should be able to get an appointment at the vårdcent ... (show full quote)



I had a girlfriend that was really sick and we went private. If the psychologist has an agreement with the landstinget then the cost is only 300 kr and the free card applies
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Bsmith
post 18.Oct.2017, 08:23 PM
Post #5
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

I am glad to hear that you are seeking professional help. Hopefully you can actually receive it. My oldest daughter had anxiety issues and was helped with some natural supplements and fish oil. The supplements that helped were: Sam E, Rhodiola Rosea (sp?) and B complex.

Good luck and don't quit trying.
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BhuBhuKaZoo
post 19.Oct.2017, 09:09 AM
Post #6
Location: Uppsala
Joined: 29.Jun.2017

My partner has had similar issues which unfortunately relate to her condition and she was able to get help as Flaneur has suggested - although I understand this will provide little solace.

I would recommend, as it is so important to have some semblance of good wellbeing, that you should go private. No matter if the cost is a little prohibitive, in the long run it will be worth it. She will have someone she can talk to when she needs and can find some routine also in that.

That is the most important thing I think for both you and your partner - to achieve some sort of movement with this right? So I would personally go private. In the short term at least. Be prepared that it may become worse before it gets better but you both will get there.

One thing I would also look at is whether you need some psychological help also? This is a lot of pressure for one to take on. Being supportive and there for someone who is finding things tough will take their toll on you and so I would seriously also consider whether you need to talk to someone also.

In this respect - it may also be good for you to get in touch with some charities. Do not forget about yourself in this.

I do wish you both good health, and hope that your partner finds help very soon.
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Mad Hatter
post 19.Oct.2017, 01:08 PM
Post #7
Joined: 23.Aug.2015

QUOTE (flaneur @ 18.Oct.2017, 04:05 PM) *
Wow, you're such a wonderful boyfriend.Anyway, there's plenty of private psychologists (that cost a lot), but you should be able to get an appointment at the vårdcent ... (show full quote)


Thankyou for replying. I'm going to take a look at a private psychologist. You can't put a price on your health, after all.


QUOTE (Gjeebes @ 18.Oct.2017, 06:23 PM) *
@Mad Hatter, PM sent.


Thankyou. I appreciate it.

QUOTE (intrepidfox @ 18.Oct.2017, 08:42 PM) *
I had a girlfriend that was really sick and we went private. If the psychologist has an agreement with the landstinget then the cost is only 300 kr and the free card applies


Huh. I didn't know such a thing existed. I'll definitely look into that! Thankyou so much!

QUOTE (Bsmith @ 18.Oct.2017, 09:23 PM) *
I am glad to hear that you are seeking professional help. Hopefully you can actually receive it. My oldest daughter had anxiety issues and was helped with some natural suppl ... (show full quote)


Thankyou! I'll check out the supplements. I've been reading a lot about botany (I'm a keen gardener) so this would be perfect.

QUOTE (BhuBhuKaZoo @ 19.Oct.2017, 10:09 AM) *
One thing I would also look at is whether you need some psychological help also? This is a lot of pressure for one to take on. Being supportive and there for someone who is fi ... (show full quote)


Thankyou for the suggestion. I have been meaning to get around to speaking to someone for about 8 years now. Life just has a funny way of rearranging priorities. I do need it, and I will get it, however.
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intrepidfox
post 19.Oct.2017, 02:08 PM
Post #8
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

QUOTE (Mad Hatter @ 19.Oct.2017, 12:08 PM) *
Thankyou for replying. I'm going to take a look at a private psychologist. You can't put a price on your health, after all. Thankyou. I appreciate it.Huh. I didn't ... (show full quote)



I want to wish you the best of luck and i realy hope that everything works out. Never give up on the one you love.
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