Published: 24 Nov 12 09:58 CET | Print version
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/44632/20121124/
New incidents of hazing have been reported at the prestigious Swedish boarding school once attended by King Carl XVI Gustaf, including a case of a young girl forced to perform oral sex on a snowman, according to the Svenska Dagbladet daily.
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Putting aside the silliness of the construction "to perform oral sex", which only journalists use (no one has ever asked their partner if they would mind "performing" oral sex of an evening), I don't think you can even describe it as oral sex if it's given to a snowman.
You see, from the two composite words that make up "snowman", snow is the relevant categorisation here. At the risk of shattering any illusions in the child-like minds that produce The Local, a snowman is not, in any but the most one-dimensional aesthetic sense a man. It is an inanimate lump of snow formed into a vague shape. You can no more "perform" oral sex on snow than you can on a turnip or a George Foreman grill because when you put such things in your mouth, no matter how sensually you might do it, it's NOT SEX.
The sub-heading here should read: "girl forced to suck ice." A somewhat bracing and potentially upsetting experience, no doubt, but not oral sex.