How can LGBT+ couples start a family in Sweden?

Adoption

For couples who cannot or do not want to carry a pregnancy, adoption is an option. It’s possible for same-sex couples to adopt, although the process takes some time and there’s no guarantee that it will be successful.

Same-sex couples, as well as couples where one or both partners have changed legal gender, are able to legally adopt a child together, and the same-sex partner in a couple is also legally allowed to adopt the other partner’s child.

There are no rules on civil status, either. So you can adopt a child whether you’re cohabiting, married, or single.

This doesn’t mean that every applicant will be approved for adoption – that applies to all couples, not just LGBT+ couples.

In general, adoptions in Sweden are international – meaning that you are adopting a child from another country. 

Adoptions within Sweden do also occur, but it’s unusual for an adoption to be approved unless you already have a close relationship with the child (as a step-parent, foster parent or other family member, for example). The biological parent also needs to approve the adoption and relinquish their parental rights over the child.

As far as international adoptions are concerned, these almost always occur through an adoption organisation, where you will most likely have to place yourself in the respective organisation’s queue – be prepared that the process can take years.

The rules for international adoptions are to a certain extent dictated by the country you’re adopting from, and not all countries allow same-sex couples to adopt. Adoptionscentrum, for example, one of the largest agencies offering adoptions to parents in Sweden, are able to send adoption applications for same-sex couples to two countries: South Africa and Colombia. 

These countries both have further rules you’ll need to follow.

For South Africa, you need to be married for at least a year, and have lived together for at least five. They also prefer you to have an average age no more than 40 years older than the child you’re planning to adopt, if the child is under the age of three, as well as being Christian.

For couples wishing to adopt from Colombia, you don’t need to be married, but you must have lived together for at least two years.

Both countries state that you should be prepared that the child you adopt may have some kind of special needs.

Surrogacy

If it’s important to you that your child is biologically related to you, but neither of you are able to carry a pregnancy, then another option is surrogacy. 

The rules for surrogacy are complicated. Surrogacy is usually referred to as surrogatmoderskap or the lesser-used värdgraviditet, and it essentially means you find someone to carry a baby for you.

It’s not legal for fertility clinics or similar to assist you in finding a surrogate, inseminating them or implanting an embryo fertilised via IVF into their womb, but if you have a friend or family member who is willing to be a surrogate for you and are willing to do a home insemination, that’s perfectly legal.

Bear in mind that the person who gives birth to a child will always be the child’s legal parent under Swedish rules, whether they want to be or not. There’s no legal way for a surrogate to sign away their parental rights prior to the birth. In the case of a home insemination, the person whose sperm is used will be legally recognised as the child’s father, even if donor sperm are used.

Often, the child’s biological father is part of the couple wishing to adopt the child. In this situation, the birth mother would give the child up for adoption, and the father’s partner would need to adopt the child. The surrogate needs to consent to this.

If you can’t find someone who is willing to be your surrogate, it’s legal to find a surrogate through a clinic elsewhere, whether that’s altruistic (not paid) or commercial (paid). It’s common for couples going down this route to use clinics in the US, Georgia and Ukraine.

The process of being recognised as the child’s legal parents in the case of a surrogacy agreement abroad is not entirely simple, either – the biological father needs to have their status as legal parent established before arriving in Sweden, and once the child is in Sweden, the other parent will need to go through the process of legally adopting the child. Again, the surrogate will be listed as the child’s legal parent, so they will need to give their consent to the adoption.

Be aware if you take this route that surrogacy is controversial in Sweden – when celebrity Swede Micael Bindefeld said in a TV interview that he and his husband had enlisted the help of an American surrogate to have their son in 2016, he was criticised by women’s rights organisations for “trafficking women”.

Insemination and IVF

If one or both of you are able to get pregnant, then you can also try insemination or IVF.

As far as insemination is concerned, there are two options: insemination at a clinic, or a home insemination.

IVF (in vitro fertilisation, also known in Swedish as provrörsbefruktning or "test tube fertilisation"), where an egg is fertilised outside of the body and then implanted into the womb, can only take place in a clinic.

You’ll need to join a queue for either IVF or insemination and the person who’ll be carrying the baby will need to carry out a fertility test before this can be done. Waiting times vary for public clinics and it can take anything between a few months and a year depending on your region.

This will among other things include a gynaecological examination, height and weight checks, STI checks and a blood test to check hormone levels.

IVF and clinic-based insemination are both available for same-sex couples, trans men (single or part of a couple) and single parents, but not for people wanting to have a child with someone they aren’t in a relationship with (i.e. surrogacy).

If you’re using a donor egg, sperm or embryo, you’ll also need to speak to a psychologist beforehand, both to make sure the child will be growing up in a good environment, but also to make sure you understand your – and your child’s – rights and responsibilities when it comes to using a donor.

Be aware that in Sweden, it’s not possible for an egg or sperm donor to be anonymous – the child must always have the right to contact them once they turn 18. If anonymity is important to you, then you will have to get help in a fertility clinic abroad instead. Many couples visit clinics abroad for other reasons, such as shorter queues or different rules, like higher age limits. If you do access fertility help abroad, it can be a good idea to get a fertility test done in Sweden first.

If you’re using your own eggs with IVF, you’ll need to take hormone injections which will encourage your ovaries to produce more eggs, which will then be collected around 36 hours later. These will then be fertilised outside of the body, before the best embryo is implanted, either back into the womb of the person the eggs originally came from or into their partner’s womb, if they can also get pregnant.

As a general rule, only one embryo will be implanted, even if treatment resulted in multiple successful embryos. Clinics elsewhere may implant multiple embryos, which can increase the chance of twins or triplets. Unused embryos can be frozen for up to ten years (or longer, if you apply for an extension). If you don’t wish to keep them, you can sign a waiver to destroy them or donate them to research.

IVF is available as part of public healthcare, and is covered by Sweden’s high-cost protection, although it is limited to three attempts in some regions, and one in others. If you access a private clinic, it will cost more – often around 100,000 kronor for three implantations.

The process for insemination in a clinic is broadly the same, although the person getting pregnant will need to keep track of their cycle so they can be inseminated just before ovulation. It takes most people a few attempts to get pregnant – the chance of pregnancy is around 20 percent per insemination. Insemination is also available as part of public healthcare and is covered by Sweden’s high-cost protection, or privately for around 10,000 kronor per attempt. Home inseminations are free.

For publicly-funded fertility assistance, you'll usually only qualify for your first child. So if you want a sibling, you'll need to fund any further pregnancies yourself.

Be aware that in the case of a home insemination, the sperm donor and the person who carry the child will be legally listed as the child’s parents. The sperm donor will need to legally sign away their parental rights before another person, for example the partner of the person carrying the child, can adopt the child and become their legal parent.

In the case of an insemination or IVF in a clinic in Sweden with donor sperm (where the child will be able to know the donor’s identity after they turn 18), the rules are slightly different. If the couple is married, then both will legally be listed as the child’s parents. If they are cohabiting, then the parent who didn’t give birth will need to apply to be listed as the child’s parent. If anonymous donor sperm was used, or if the insemination or IVF took place abroad, then the same rules apply as for home inseminations above.

More information on all of these routes to becoming parents is available on the RFSL website, in Swedish and English.